[Dis]connected.

Maybe I'm a little too enamoured with the monastic lifestyle, or maybe I’m just falling into this hipster, super trendy, minimalist thing (but pass me some organic, vegan, fair trade, non-GMO, nonfat, almond, kale, chia, flax, coconut, green smoothie thing while we're on that thought…?)

Last semester, I remember a little voice inside my head screaming "THIS IS NOT LIFE-GIVING!" as I mindlessly scrolled one-by-one through social media feeds. It doesn't take a genius to come to such a conclusion. Basically since I became a Christian I've been trying to not be sucked into the vortex of ostentatious religious piety and Christianese, because it's bloody weird. An idea that has repeatedly resurfaced over the last several months has been that I need to be less about the world and more about the Lord (Romans 12:1-2 for those who would like a Scripture reference). Anyway, I think I gave myself the ultimatum that as long as I was still doing well in school, there was no harm done. I still wanted to understand, though: why was I so addicted to this thing that was so mind-numbing?

There was my answer: it was mind-numbing. One of my most consistent coping mechanisms when I feel the anxiety starting to escalate is scrolling through facebook. It is utterly illogical that reading the idiocy of provocative, inflammatory comments will give me any sort of peace, yet, somehow, the feeling that I'm better, or smarter, or more useful than some misinformed stranger of the internet has become solace during the moments when I'm feeling my most useless, worthless, hopeless, and out of control.

Questions could be asked about why I don't turn to prayer or scripture seeking the comforts of release and truth during these times. I don't know. I guess I'm afraid of the implications if God won't be who he says he is at the moments where I feel like I need him the most. It also takes a lot more effort to open a Bible or make my lips move with hopeful expectation, becoming vulnerable to the rebuke, challenge, and transformation of the Holy One. It's actually pretty scary when you really think about it.

So, lent. Different church traditions say different things about lent. There's quite the spectrum ranging from "of course we do this, and you should too, and here's why," to "this is heresy because Jesus/the Bible doesn't explicitly say to do it." I've come to appreciate church tradition more and more as I've explored how much of it actually is rooted in scripture, in more ways than most Biblical literalists care to note. Admittedly, I haven't done a terrible amount of research on lent, but I think it's fairly indisputable to say that it is a time set apart to remove the "little-g-gods" from our lives which tend to stand in the way of our communion with the big-G, real-deal Father in heaven.

All this to say (in a painfully typical Helenz, long, convoluted manner) that I'm saying goodbye to facebook and instagram for lent. I anticipate this to be a good move for my spiritual life, and mental health, and also that it'll be incredibly challenging--in many senses of the word. I'm looking forward to embracing a simpler life, for sure, but also wary of the repercussions of being disconnected in this age that says you need to be 24/7.

Yes. Call/text/email me maybe?